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One day Bill complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor.”

His friend said, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Just put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs ten dollars.”Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample, and deposited the $10. The computer made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 
Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins.
Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a Gun and a lawyer.

Please stick to your own issues, otherwise your tennis elbow will never get better.


Having watched the famous Citizen TV program - The wedding show, I almost expected something similar of a wedding I attended in Njukini, close to Taveta, recently.

The Great wedding was done in the Salvation army church, and I was amazed to find that there, the church service begins at 2.00pm. When it does, it is a spectacle of events. The bride arrives first to wait for the Groom. She is escorted by the brides maids and the grooms men, who dance their way to the alter. When she is settled and waiting for the groom, the same bridesmaids and groomsmen go out again to receive the groom, and escort him to his waiting bride to be in pomp and celebrations.

Once they are settled, the full church service goes on, even the offertory, and then the wedding is performed. After the wedding, and the rings and all, the bride and groom are led out of the church, at around 4.00pm with more pomp and celebration. All this time, half the congregation is standing on the pews to see the mighty spectacle.

Just outside the church is the photo session. Here the congregation and friends are charged Kshs. 25 to take a photo with the wedded couple. This was a little strange to me, but apparently, thats the trend there. After that, the people are led to the reception area, where before everything else, the cake is cut, and distributed to the important guests in th place.

Then the food is served, according to order of priority. The visitors from the city first, then the children, then the high table and lastly the local people, who are made to scramble for the food. I thought it to be strange. After people have eaten to their fill, the tent owners begin to take down the tents and people are hurdled out of the reception area. And thats it for the wedding....




I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
Have Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stopped Keepin Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Lose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Now Someday That It'll All Turn Out
You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Mmmmm ....

I Might Have To Wait
I'll Never Give Up
I Guess It's Half Time
And The Other Half's Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

Hmmmmm ......

And Somehow I Know That Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

They Say All's Fair
And In Love And War
But I Won't Need To Fight It
We'll Get It By It ??
To Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

Hmmm .....

And Someday I Know It'll All Turn Out
And I'll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I'll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get han I Get

Oh You Know It Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get

I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet


Have you loved and had the devastating experience of your beloved leaving you? Have you felt the pain? Does any other pain come nearer to it? Yes, the pain of losing someone by death may come near to that. But even that is not comparable. By death, you lose your sweetheart forever and know that she/he is no longer in this world. But if he/she leaves you, you experience the shock that is unsurpassed. You know that your beloved is in this world itself, but you have no strength to find out where? You have no strength to meet and find out the reason for the betrayal. You get so numbed with the shock, that you can take no more pain. So you are left to live with that pain yourself. And that life is nothing but death at every moment.

When I cry for my beloved, the tears that I shed are more precious than heavenly pearls, says the poet in me. Yes, one cries, and one finds no one to share that cry. If you talk to people around you about the break down you are facing, they will probably call you a fool for grieving. After sometime, you stop talking to anyone about your pain. That keeps the pain inside you. That kills you slowly, but surely.


Can one overcome this? Very difficult. The very fact that you fell in love that submerged you tells about your personality. Such personalities that give themselves totally away, find it very difficult to bear the loss of love. Snatch a child away from the mother and measure the pain of the mother, you will find out what I am talking about. Why does the mother grieve so much? Because she carried the child in her womb for nine months, she cared for the child after birth, she kept awake for her child for endless nights and she dreamt for her child at all the times. The child was an extension of her own personality. The loss therefore becomes unbearable.


In the same way, those who love deeply, love their beloved like their own child. They care for the beloved like their own extension. Their love and their beloved become an essential part of their personality. Therefore, when that love walks out, the grief is immense and the loss immeasurable. What is to be done? No one can say about this. It all depends on the personality.If that person can somehow continue working towards a useful goal, while keeping the pain all the time inside the heart, life can be carried on for sometime. But ultimately that pain of separation will engulf the person.


You bored me with your stories
I can't believe that I endured you for as long as I did
I'm happy, it's over, I'm only sorry
That I didn't make the move before you

And when you go I will remember
To send a thank you note to that girl, (oh that girl)
I see she's holding you so tender
Well I just wanna say...
(Just wanna say...)
I never really loved you anyway
No I didn't love you anyway
I never really loved you anyway
I'm so glad you're moving away

Valentino, I don't think so
You watching MTV while I lie dreaming in an MT bed
And come to think of it
I was misled
My flat, my food, my everything
And thoughts inside my head

Before you go I must remember
To have a quiet word with that girl
(Oh that girl)
Does she know you're not a spender
Well I just have to say...
(Just wanna say...)
I never really loved you anyway
No I didn't love you anyway
I never really loved you anyway
I'm so happy you're moving away

(And when you go I will remember)
I must remember to say...

I never really loved you anyway
No I didn't love you anyway
I never really loved you anyway
I never really loved you anyway
Never really loved you anyway
(I never really loved you anyway)
No I didn't love you anyway
(Never loved you anyway)
Never truly loved you anyway
(I Never loved you anyway)
I'm so happy you're moving away
Yeah I'm delighted you're moving away

The Corrs


Most times, most of us find that by the time the month is getting to the end, we already have accrued debts, or we are left with just enough to get us to the pay date, and no more even in case of emergencies.
We mostly blame this living beyond our means, on low salaries and high costs of living.

All this can be solved by managing your payslip.
This will be done by first accepting your net pay. This is may be done by internalizing that whatever amount is indicated as your net pay in your payslip is all you have and nothing more, and have you to live by that.

Second is to list down, genuinely and honestly all your expenses. This may include rent, fuel, food, transport, every day coffee, couple of beers at the bar and every other huge or tiny expense that you incur on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. After listing down all expenses, you may discover that you actually spend more than you earn, i.e. living beyond your means. 

Thirdly, make a budget. Here is where, you get to decide on what expenses to increase, reduce, or do away with depending on your priorities. A good system to use while deciding on how to allocate your funds could be to split your salary into six portions, where the ratios are 3 – 2 – 1. 

Here, three portions out of six, of your salary are allocated to all your expenses. This will include food, housing, clothing, fuel, education, health and all other expenses you may have.
Two portions out of six of your salary are allocated to savings, and the remaining one portion out of six of your salary is allocated to personal investment, for instance taking educational or self improvement courses etc.

With this system of fund allocation, then you are able to know how much to use on expenses, and are able to scale your living standards towards that, and thus live a more comfortable life that does not go beyond your means. It also ensures that even with the meager amounts on your payslip, you are able to save something at the end of every month, and you are also able to invest on yourself positively.







In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes


In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal

Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand

around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart

has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future

A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes


Its in the morning and am tired.... Ask me why.

I get out of my house every morning at 5:45am to get to work at 8 am. Most of the time, I get to town earlier like by 7am, but some other times, drama happens.


You see, going to town by train is very very economical, because instead of the 100 bob we normally pay to town, by train its only 35 bob. But again, cheap is expensive, though not every day. Here we sit, stand in between the legs of those who are seated, stand at the corridor, hang on the door, sit or stand on top of the train. Quite some freedom we got! 

So, sometimes, when we get to the deserted part where there's only long grass and rocks and the only noise is the river, the train decides to break down. And we have to wait till another train head comes from town and pulls it, or pushes it to where its destined. That takes like 45 minutes from the time it breaks down to the time we continue with the journey.

When we get to town, after completing the queue for getting down the train, which is accompanied with pushing, shoving, stepping on, grabbing arses behinds for those you admired all the way, stealing taking people's cell phones and cash, you get to the Railway Station Exit gate, where you are supposed to drop your ticket in a bucket. If you don't, they manhandle you away to some place where they beat money out of you Railways Police Station.

At the end of all this, you's safely in town! And get to work so tired...


Has any of you ever fallen in love with somebody you actually never met?

Well I did once.

This guy * Sean, I met him on the Internet.I can't remember if it was through yahoo or blogger or.... Well, we would communicate most of the time through chat, and later, we exchanged phone numbers. And we'd call each other most of the day, and yours truly begun growing very fond of Sean and FAST.


Soon, I was introduced to Sean's cousin, and his sister, and his mother. Mind you, all this was done over the phone, because all this while, Sean was in a different country. So he'd give my phone number to say his cousin, then his cousin would call, and later come to visit.

I trusted Sean. I fell in love with him, and this love grew by day, as I waited patiently for his return to Nairobi.
I lived in a world full of fantasies of me and him, and our children and our house.  He made promises to me. And I loved him more and more, even though he did not keep most of these promises.He even proposed to me on phone.

I waited for Sean for three years.Until one day, I received a call from anonymous saying if I remember very clearly
Hi. I'm just calling you to give you some information about Sean. He has gotten another girl here pregnant, and I thought that I should let you know, since I believe you dont deserve to be treated the way Sean is treating you. Don't bother calling me back because am using a phone booth. Bye.
And she was gone.

I was in denial and so decided to ignore that call, because I trusted my Sean, and there is no way in this world, that the Sean I loved so much, the Sean who promised me the moon and the stars, the Sean who was going to be my baby's father... would do anything like that. So I did not even bother to ask him about this...

But I was so hurt, I decided I wanted a break from this relationship!

Before I even got to tell him I needed a break, I got a call from one of the people Sean lives with, telling me that Sean was having a baby, by another woman. And that was it! I decided to end the relationship with Sean. It was hard. I cant even recall what I told him, but I had said it was over by the end of the conversation, but did not mention that I knew about his up coming baby.

A few days after break up, he told me that he had made a woman pregnant, and that it was seven months old. The explanation I got was that, the woman went to Sean and told him that she has a chronic condition with her vagina. Her vagina refuses to open up to men that she is not in love with. And since she was in love with Sean, though as he alleges, he does not love her, her vagina opens up when she sees him. So she went to him for help with her vagina issues. Mind you, nowhere had I even heard that Sean was a gynecologist! So Sean the red cross guy went on to have sex with her, even without a condom. What Jeopardy to our "relationship"! tsk tsk tsk....

After telling me all that bullshit explanation, I was supposed to forgive him, as he was trying to help a needy woman. He even claimed that he was going to abandon that woman, so he could come back to me. I repeat. He was gonna abandon the woman who was carrying his child.


I was really hurt, and I stayed many days crying and meditating. Then at once it hit me; I never really knew Sean. I had never even seen him, except maybe for the pictures he sent me. He played with my heart... But I was the bigger fool!

I got up, had a make over and went out clubbing. (Story for another day) And from then, my attachment to him begun to fade, and I begun to see how foolish I was for ever trusting virtual love for over three years! Imagine three years!

His baby was born, and he told it to the whole world. He broadcast on all means. 



Cold is the floor I lay on
Cold is the heart I bear
Cold are the thoughts in my mind
Cold is the soul I am entitled

Drunken by spirits,
Drunken in pain
Drunken in despair
Drunken in plans

The floor by hour is colder,
The bottle by hour is emptier,
The soul by hour is drunkt
The male by hour is hornier

Turgidity, turgidity, turgidity
Overwhelmed by it
Overthrown by it
To a world unknown
To living and to dead
Until one's encounter...

Betroven by life's meaninglessness,
Overwhelmed by vengeance
A mind murders a soul
A heart is mended by fantasies

All through the night
'Till dawn's cold comes unbearably
A drunken heart, soul, mind and body
Get on with a day's work
As though no night was there
As though a floor was no bed
As though a Spirit was no dinner
'Till dusk sets its place
And the monotony of the night
Sets it's pace