twitter

The Tennis Elbow Joke!

261 comments
Posted in Labels:


One day Bill complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor.”

His friend said, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Just put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs ten dollars.”Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample, and deposited the $10. The computer made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 
Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins.
Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a Gun and a lawyer.

Please stick to your own issues, otherwise your tennis elbow will never get better.

Taveta Weddings...

3 comments
Posted in Labels:


Having watched the famous Citizen TV program - The wedding show, I almost expected something similar of a wedding I attended in Njukini, close to Taveta, recently.

The Great wedding was done in the Salvation army church, and I was amazed to find that there, the church service begins at 2.00pm. When it does, it is a spectacle of events. The bride arrives first to wait for the Groom. She is escorted by the brides maids and the grooms men, who dance their way to the alter. When she is settled and waiting for the groom, the same bridesmaids and groomsmen go out again to receive the groom, and escort him to his waiting bride to be in pomp and celebrations.

Once they are settled, the full church service goes on, even the offertory, and then the wedding is performed. After the wedding, and the rings and all, the bride and groom are led out of the church, at around 4.00pm with more pomp and celebration. All this time, half the congregation is standing on the pews to see the mighty spectacle.

Just outside the church is the photo session. Here the congregation and friends are charged Kshs. 25 to take a photo with the wedded couple. This was a little strange to me, but apparently, thats the trend there. After that, the people are led to the reception area, where before everything else, the cake is cut, and distributed to the important guests in th place.

Then the food is served, according to order of priority. The visitors from the city first, then the children, then the high table and lastly the local people, who are made to scramble for the food. I thought it to be strange. After people have eaten to their fill, the tent owners begin to take down the tents and people are hurdled out of the reception area. And thats it for the wedding....