Said Like It Is!

So now since it's election time, the citizens have grown 10 degrees dumber. All they think about now or rather do, is help those thugs rig votes, even when the process involves murdering their neighbours. It's really sickening. Anyway, I won't vote, but I wish someone would vote out this other idiot who thinks that allowing thugs and hawkers back to the streets of Nairobi, is what will make a guy get his Presidency back.

And the noise on violence and riggin is starting to get to my nerves now. I think we're too developed for some of these barbaric behaviour, Same as getting a chic pregnant and denying it. It is the most barbaric of all acts and cursed be the man who does that.

Talkin of babies, a close buddy is about to get a baby, and she needs a name, otherwise it will be Batholomew or Thaddaeus, and the chic maybe Petronilla or Truphena... I hope you get the point. She's quite depressed on the matter, considering that she has no father to name her baby for her, yknow Kenyan traditions....

On that note; since we have so many baby parties, am beginning to loose track. And soo many contenders. I guess I still stand with Raila for president. But am confused, id it ODM ama is it ODM Kenya. Na Orie Rogo Manduli is for what party? I lost track.. I wonder What Kamotho has up his sleeves...

Anyway, I guess next year haihami, so we'll get to see what goes down.

A.O.B
Now am really debating on shukaing the BT to the new one, aliased.... was it CT ama? Yeah! That one. Not to say am already out of the BT, and on my way into the CT but I guess after being in the BT too long, it's kind of too new a feeling and am scared the CT might as well decide to move on without me. But you know the BT is always there...

Am onto the steps... sooner or later I will either settle in CT ama just get back to the BT. We all know we can never be inbetween for too long, just when crossing over eigh! Then I will tell y'all about it...

Raila, Kalonzo, Kibaki, who else?? I don't know and for some reason, I really dont care. It's irritating when you go to buy a Brand new TV only to find it had been used before, only repackaged... Like wearing a second hand thong.. Please.. someone get me a brand new president around here....

On that note, I need brand new clothes.. LOL. Non of them seem to be fitting me anymore. Due to the diet I have succumbed to , thanks to the hole of a country I live in, I have added a few Kgs.. Now change of wardrobes... All those clothes I have been wear4ing since 2001, I guess are now much of a nusance on the clutchy side.

But who says am complaining.. Nooo... I am soo happy at least I dont have to look all over the country for a cloth that can fit me. Most often turned out to be oversized. That explains the 2001 attire still in my wardrobe. But now I can go with the fashion. It's kinda refreshing yknow.

Before was, will I ever have booty like that? Not in a month of Sundays and being subjected to pork breakfast lunch n supper. Ama wow look at that cleavage! Am jealous. But now it's Oh! The POT!! That may be stress at one point. But who cares. With it comes bundle(s) of joy. The weight, the happiness, the appetite.. I am just too happy. No more feeling bad when I look at my friends' mawetetes and wish I had some to call mine. No more looking at my sisters in shopping malls and wishing I had booty like that, or the cleavage.

I am going shopping for a whole new wardrobe, on the next week of Sundays. Who told you I got the cash right now... But am really looking forward to it. I have never been the one to enjoy shopping, [you cant, when nothing fits you, can you really??]

So lemmie start saving up. And I start with here, saving the cyber dough. I gotta go. Take care o' yourselves. And get me a new prezzo.

Na wenye mnauliza if I been away to grow fat, Yeah I have. Got a problem with that?!

A couple of months back I thought I really had true friends. Friends willing to support my strengths and rebuke my weakness, for the good of all of us [me and them]. My definition of friend is someone who is by your side, whatever happens to you. They will support what you do right and correct you when you are wrong. They will not judge you, but they will rebuke what it is that is evil, you do. They will not use your weaknesses to benefit their greed.

Today is my mom's birthday. She turns 54. And am really proud of her for being there for us for this long. I wonder what it feels like to be 54, but am sure gonna ask her when we communicate. Am especially surprised that she went through a hell of a me, as a teenager, and much more. The me who in high school had to go home every two weeks coz of suspensions of all kinds of nature... Talking about High Schools and suspensions...[memoirs memoirs memoirs]

... reminds me of one time in high school, on a Saturday, after cleaning the school, so we were all idling. Soon I was tempted to get some lugwarts from the many fruit trees in the school, which of course we were prohibited. Si as usual, am on the nearest tree, chuniaring people the fruits.. so we gawana in the end, in the next like 2 minutes.

Ubaya the fruit tree was next to a pavement, na sasa headi tokead.. Si everybody scattered. Then I thought, if I shuka that tree, ningeonwa tu na headi, so I decided to baki on top and be very silent. When she got to the point where I was, another teacher had fikad there too, so they stopped to talk...

Then I don't know what intrigued Mrs. Maina[The teacher] to look up, and voila!!, "There was Shee looking down at them!!" Si ofcourse the shock on her face made headi look up too.. Hmm.. You don't want to imagine the exchange that was there between me and the headi [with her deep kikuyu-kisii accent]

After me getting down in a flash and a couple [read many] slaps and pinches on my cheeks, I was told to go home immediately and come back with a sac full of lugwarts. It was not funny at all, coz I didn't jua what to tell Mathe [an Anglican Rev] and fathe [a retired deputy principle].

But as we all were in chuo ***Let no one pretend*** The policy was "Brains encounter brains".

I sure went home, but my expalnation for being home was that I had an ear ache so I was told to go home. We went to the dockie and was given medicine. Then on my way to school, based in Thika, I picked up a mama from Thika Market [Mukiriti], I paid her Kes 200 and told her the whole story. Si we went to chuo.

At the headi's office, she caused mayhem [si you know the way mamas of soko are harsh], kwanza I was told to get out. So they remained there talking [read yelling at each other in Kikuyu, broken Swahili mixed with 2 english words]. Kidogo they both came out, and I was told that she was to go home, and I was to go to class, and see headi the next day morning for my punishment [I was told to wash some trees at the parade ground, which termites had built houses on]. The mama gave me some fake warnings to obey and a hug and headed back.

That became a legend, and a trend in that school....

Anyway, sorry mum for this and more, that I did...
All the barbed wire, the bringing me back to school and having to tetea me to heady, the report forms you never got to see, the dictionary, Bible, kamusi and log book that I sold on the streets of Nairobi after fourth form and lied they had gotten lost, the lies about trips we were to attend and all just to get more pocket money out of you, the school fee for me to be in class for 1005 of my time in school, but I spent 75% out of class, either on punishments, at home, or skived, and to crown it all, the shame you went through all along the four years.
Am grown now, and I no longer do those.

All I promise is I will make up for all those... And with that promise, I wish you a happy birthday mom.

And as I celebrate this, I also wish to acknowledge the good playing of the heroes of this premier league Arsenal. We pray that you go on and have another season unbeaten, just like the other one.

And quite proud you do me here, seeing you seated on all others....
Am happy for you Arsenal..

Happy Birthday mom. Live longer than you can. Just for me.

Some people will just never learn...

In most cases, you expect that if you go to a certain club and you have your phone stolen, you either stop going to that club, or change positions for storing your phone, right??!! Aint that logic for any person above the age of 18??

Okey this chic!

She brings friends she just met into her house, and they just get high, and the next morning she's missing stuff... Like this one time she lost Kes 60,000 which she was supposed to deposit the next day, for her school fee, then kidogo, her home theatre walked.. I don't know how... then kidogo, an old laptop she had crawled out... And now, it's her PDA phone...

I mean, does she need a [I-don't-know-what] to shout it to her, or rather get it to her mind, to quit being careless and for once, do what is common sense to everybody... Stop bringing strangers to her house!! Next she will be stolen! Then she'll come crying and whining a whole week to me that all she's got was stolen!! "Oh now what will I do.. And I guessed those guys weren't good at all.. Now see.. I should have listened to my instincts..." I hear this one more time and my brain crawls outta my head!

Is it too much work to just think just a little above your nose?! And for hell's sake she's a whole 26yr old!! Jeez!!

I offered to have her move all her "precious" staff, for me to keep it for her, so she doesn't loose it, but it was a hell of a joke, imagining giving away your telly to your friend to keep it for you... what will you watch?? LOL

Anyway! If anyone knows of or owns a drug that one takes to begin being reasonable... help a soul out here!

I would love to say like one Klara

" There's something more painful than learning from experience, and that's not learning from it...."

1. Where was the so called King of Rwanda [Overthrown in 1957, and being in exile in the U.S.A since] as Rwanda got it's peace, that now he wants to come back and be King, and that he will not come back if the people won't make him King, ati coz he signed a treaty with the Belgians to be King. A guy should "Get a grip!" Who cares whether or not he's back or not?? Did we even know he existed before now? I mean does his absence make me not put food on the table?

2. What do we have in memory of Kibaki except for the forty shilling coin? [As in like the way we have Kenyatta and Moi Avenues and Universities e.t.c]

3. I overheard some dude talking about statistics of Makerere University Kampala, on H.I.V/ AIDS, that 87% of the students are HIV positive, and that in that, 76% of women are positive, and of course only 9% of the men are positive. Hmmm... Couple of questions I got... But all the same,
I ask, does it really make sense that 9% of the guys are the only ones doing the 76% of the women? huh?? Players we got of the 9% What do you say? ;)

4. Why don't we have on the market DVDs for Soap Operas? [So that at least they stop disturbing our eyes during the weekend with some Mexican fake actors whose Mexican mouthings don't even match the words they speak, and instead give us something to watch, like soccer, Formula 1, Some comedies e.t.c]

5. Do Arsenal reeeeally miss Thiery Henry?? "Naah!"

6 .Why doesn't Kenya have another service provider, except Safaricom and Celtel?

7. Shouldn't David Beckham just retire... I don't hear him no more.

8. Why don't the England Chairman, and MANU boss not get along? Did they date the same girl or some'ing?

9. What is it with MANU? Am shocked they ain't at the top of the list at premiership. they could as well be after Bolton anyway. LOL!

10. Is President Mugabe of Zimbabwe really a dictator? [how come he receives standing ovations when he speaks at African leader's meetings?] Are we missing something here?

Initiation is a rite of passage ceremony marking entrance or acceptance into a group or society. It could also be a formal admission to adulthood in a community or one of its formal components. In an extended sense it can also signify a transformation in which the initiate is 'reborn' into a new role.

Enough on the enlightenment of what you already know. But I want to pose 2 major questions.

1. Does lack of passing through initiation [in the traditional way- as in circumsicion, or however else we please to initiate in different communities] make you different, e.g in the way you think, make decisions and your behavior e.t.c, to a person who has been through initiation?

In simpler terms, do they that have been initiated differ in terms of decision making, way of life, behavior and thinking, from they that have not been initiated?

[My Opinion]- They that have not, act less mature than they that have. Their decision making is somewhat irrational. And I think environmental conditions really alter their reasoning,and behavior. That takes me to my 2nd question...

2. Does [as a man] living with your mother,when you are past 24 years of age affect your behavior, decision making and thinking? In the sense that, your ma' will never see you like a grown up, even if you're 92 yrs old. So in any case, without exposure, a guy remains 18 years old even at 40.

We were out having coffee with a couple of my friends, when a heated argument of whether or not, pregnant women should go out to clubs and stuff, came up.

Funny though, one of them told us how she would go out, get drunk,and smoke like all morning, with a guy she called Anto [friend]. I was shocked that Anto would not mind being caught in a club taking a soda, happily chatting with a [friend] 7 month pregnant woman, taking a guiness and smoking B'n'H at the all so famous Carnie.

And this Anto... has he ever told anyone about this? To me, it would be a shame. Am also surprised that at this time and age, an expecting mother knows no better than to be drinking like that. Poor Ryan[her son] is so cute, you would never imagine. I just hope he does not face complications in years to come. Am scared for him.


Sarah still drinks and breast feeds, saying that this prevents Ryan from waking in the night. The poor boy is too drunk to wake up. Am obliged to think that Sarah is in total oblivion of what it may later cause to Ryan whom she claims to love so much.

And to Anto, I think it's a shame to be in your position in the instance. The least you could do was discourage the idea, instead of sitting there laughing sheepishly wondering why everybody is looking at you. I hate your idea of being the one taking a soda, while your "friend' Sarah is getting herself and an unborn Ryan high.

Anyway, let all have fun, but in a responsible way.

To me, the whole situation looks like, me at this age and time, lining up to get into F2. it looks ridiculous to me. And I think any other chic at my age would look ridiculous. And so does Anto.

I was reading an article the other day[I can't trace it in this jumble of a mess called my house], on how high the cause of H.I.V is due to orgies. I had to get it clear from msema kweli, and yes I did.

I was left wondering, does this happen in Kenya? [Of course it does dummy]
No that's not the question. Question is, Are any of the people I know doing it? What should I do to help?

On second thought, do they really need help? I guess they're enjoying it, because, I actually have a friend, out of coincidence, at a party I was in, who confessed to attending such. I didn't have her attention enough to ask her clearly well about it, but the thought of her bragging about a whole weekend of orgy was too much. I would never dare say it in public myself...

Come to think of it.. Who goes??
The Very "pretty" ones. Like, I would call her a goddess, perfect in everything- Lemmi use the lines of Dan Brown in Digital Fortress.
Why??
I guess either she lacks something in her, or it's just... just... I just don't know... [Somebody help!!]
But maybe am being too conservative and backward. Should we all be trying it?? Maybe it's fun. And I also got it from a buddy that most of whom who practice it are older men and yoooooung women. Like the one I saw.

Anyway come to think of it, if you were a whore.. would you tell anyone??
If you were an orgies person, would you brag about it??

Am shocked and wondering.. Be this the Virgin, Innocent Africa we all know??

Like it is!
Get a life young lady! I guess whatever it is you're doing is really disgusting and not anything to brag about. Miss pretty, please stop wasting yourself. Those men have nothing to loose except hurt your small beautiful heart!!

What is your problem really?? Why all the killings?? Don't you think having to use a rocket, helicopter gunships and mortars is a little too much?? Huh??

I mean... by all means first stop your own major wars, before using Pokot grounds to practice for the next war, you want to start with Kenya. We appreciate your show of weaponry, but please keep it to yourselves.

Again, I think lack of education is a real hazard to the community. These Ugandans should well learn how to differentiate pregnant women, children and raiders. Why shoot them??. And again, their geography teachers should have taught them well where the boarder lines reach, so they stop getting past the border.

picture courtesy of BBC

Back in the days.. [not to say am soo old], I was really a person who lived by the thoughts of others about me. I was too afraid to live the life I wanted to live for fear of bruits, and what others would say about me.

Then I met a friend with whom I could be cockamamie with, but it never went past that, I still could never live my life the way I wanted to live it. I was angry at the whole world inside. I was against all, even trying to be against nature...

Then all of a sudden, one morning, my whole life changed. And I had no reason to fear scuttlebutts no more, for in my new life, everyone was talking about me. I never since was afraid to live how I had always wanted to live.

Now am not afraid to try it on my own. I don't care if am right, or wrong, I'll live my life the way I feel, and no matter what, am gonna keep it real. I know.. It's time for me to do it on my own...

And am back to reclaim my position in the society, that I once feared to live in, for fear of others.. Now am confident enough to set a building stone where I think is right... Am back for good.. Never to go again...

I will trample all giants and ants that will come against my way, and on them, I will learn great lessons.

And if nobody is willing to welcome me, I will welcome myself. For this is who I am now.. A changed me.. A me ready to face this crazy world. Who knows, I may die a queen of my world.