YUCK...! yuck! yuck!!!!!

Ok, today, I saw he most grotesque thing in my house....,

Lemmi just start from the beggining. I got myself a househelp from Kitale. I'l save you the details of getting her here for some day soon. That's not the issue. I have to teach her to switch on the lights, let alone flush the toilet and use toilet paper, after toiletting, Oh, and sit but not stand on the toilet seat.That's no issue. I'm really patient since, non of us was born knowing anything. We were all taught, or saw from somewhere. And right now, we cant say we know everything either. But I believe in asking.

The issue is, This morning, I decided since it is Saturday, and i aint going nowhere, we might as well do general cleaning, to this house which's got dust, you'd plant crops and they grow. As she was dusting, i was busy cleaning the bathroom/toilet. I kept wondering where the poo stench is coming from, even after frantically flushing the toilet severally, and spraying the freshener, and almost a half bottle of harpic had vanished in the toilet bowl.

I got the broom, so to sweep down the water. The smell intensified. Thank God for cleaning gloves, coz looking at the broom handle, I don know how it landed outside my house. The handle was all smeared with poo, and stinking to high heavens. I was sick like 4 times before I lost count.

You're asking what I did with or to her afterwards?... Am not so violent...

I called her to the bathroom, showed her how to clean the toilet again using all those disinfectants, and a toilet brush and told her, that sometimes poo refuses to go even if you flash severally, and thus fetch water from the tap into the bucket and pour int the toilet, and not use the broom handle. Then I told her to get the broom, lying on the corridor outside and take it to the bins, for collection by the gabbage collectors. She was very receptive, and did just that. {whoa!! Lord have mercy}

My gloves are well soaked in dettol, and soap, an am hoping to use them as soon as the smell of poo leaves my nose, and I don get sick when I see the damned gloves...

Am praying for a less grotesque weekend. But how worse could it get anyway?.. {uuh... Lord have mercy....}

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Welcome Back!!

It's been a while... yeah like a year past. I think even some keys have switched position, so please dont mind misspelled words. But yes, am back.

Was away doing a lot. Adventuring and venturing and more. But am really happy to be back. More will come as I come online more often. I'l tell you what I saw, read and heard when I was away.

All the same I aint changed, am still sayin it like it is folks...

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Kenya and her fuss...

So now since it's election time, the citizens have grown 10 degrees dumber. All they think about now or rather do, is help those thugs rig votes, even when the process involves murdering their neighbours. It's really sickening. Anyway, I won't vote, but I wish someone would vote out this other idiot who thinks that allowing thugs and hawkers back to the streets of Nairobi, is what will make a guy get his Presidency back.

And the noise on violence and riggin is starting to get to my nerves now. I think we're too developed for some of these barbaric behaviour, Same as getting a chic pregnant and denying it. It is the most barbaric of all acts and cursed be the man who does that.

Talkin of babies, a close buddy is about to get a baby, and she needs a name, otherwise it will be Batholomew or Thaddaeus, and the chic maybe Petronilla or Truphena... I hope you get the point. She's quite depressed on the matter, considering that she has no father to name her baby for her, yknow Kenyan traditions....

On that note; since we have so many baby parties, am beginning to loose track. And soo many contenders. I guess I still stand with Raila for president. But am confused, id it ODM ama is it ODM Kenya. Na Orie Rogo Manduli is for what party? I lost track.. I wonder What Kamotho has up his sleeves...

Anyway, I guess next year haihami, so we'll get to see what goes down.

A.O.B
Now am really debating on shukaing the BT to the new one, aliased.... was it CT ama? Yeah! That one. Not to say am already out of the BT, and on my way into the CT but I guess after being in the BT too long, it's kind of too new a feeling and am scared the CT might as well decide to move on without me. But you know the BT is always there...

Am onto the steps... sooner or later I will either settle in CT ama just get back to the BT. We all know we can never be inbetween for too long, just when crossing over eigh! Then I will tell y'all about it...

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Of New presidents...

Raila, Kalonzo, Kibaki, who else?? I don't know and for some reason, I really dont care. It's irritating when you go to buy a Brand new TV only to find it had been used before, only repackaged... Like wearing a second hand thong.. Please.. someone get me a brand new president around here....

On that note, I need brand new clothes.. LOL. Non of them seem to be fitting me anymore. Due to the diet I have succumbed to , thanks to the hole of a country I live in, I have added a few Kgs.. Now change of wardrobes... All those clothes I have been wear4ing since 2001, I guess are now much of a nusance on the clutchy side.

But who says am complaining.. Nooo... I am soo happy at least I dont have to look all over the country for a cloth that can fit me. Most often turned out to be oversized. That explains the 2001 attire still in my wardrobe. But now I can go with the fashion. It's kinda refreshing yknow.

Before was, will I ever have booty like that? Not in a month of Sundays and being subjected to pork breakfast lunch n supper. Ama wow look at that cleavage! Am jealous. But now it's Oh! The POT!! That may be stress at one point. But who cares. With it comes bundle(s) of joy. The weight, the happiness, the appetite.. I am just too happy. No more feeling bad when I look at my friends' mawetetes and wish I had some to call mine. No more looking at my sisters in shopping malls and wishing I had booty like that, or the cleavage.

I am going shopping for a whole new wardrobe, on the next week of Sundays. Who told you I got the cash right now... But am really looking forward to it. I have never been the one to enjoy shopping, [you cant, when nothing fits you, can you really??]

So lemmie start saving up. And I start with here, saving the cyber dough. I gotta go. Take care o' yourselves. And get me a new prezzo.

Na wenye mnauliza if I been away to grow fat, Yeah I have. Got a problem with that?!

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Friends or just Hypocrites

A couple of months back I thought I really had true friends. Friends willing to support my strengths and rebuke my weakness, for the good of all of us [me and them]. My definition of friend is someone who is by your side, whatever happens to you. They will support what you do right and correct you when you are wrong. They will not judge you, but they will rebuke what it is that is evil, you do. They will not use your weaknesses to benefit their greed.

They shall not get mad at you when you rebuke their evil deeds, but they shall embrace you for you tell the truth to them. They shall not revenge on the basis of you told them the truth, in whatever way you did it, be it shouting or whispering. They shall honor the promises they made to you of being there for you, no matter what, and not leave you alone in the desert filled with rattle snakes and cactus and dunes and locusts and no water and sun and loneliness and fear and anger and.... just because you obtained a problem we can ALL outgrow with time.

I may be raving and mad, but I think I deserve to be mad. I had friends. Really. i thought I did have friends until they began turning their backs against me. Beginning with the one I loved most. It's a really heavy cross to carry. I still cannot bring my mind to comprehend the situation. I am angry and annoyed. why did it have to happen to me. My mouth will speak no more to those hypocrites. For I may speak and sin. therefore as my mind closes to their deeds and images and everything, so shall my mouth. But my fingers will not tire to put down what is in my heart. For I am truly hurt. Beyond what any of you thinks...

I know I sound Biblical and more like a prophet, but I stand to say I am not even one. AM not even worth to be one. But my old life feels better than what I have to face now. A nice old bottle of wine seems of more comfort to me, than those walls of loneliness and betrayal and hurt... that hung around my broken heart.

I cannot speak no more. I am too upset...

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Happy Birthday Mom

Today is my mom's birthday. She turns 54. And am really proud of her for being there for us for this long. I wonder what it feels like to be 54, but am sure gonna ask her when we communicate. Am especially surprised that she went through a hell of a me, as a teenager, and much more. The me who in high school had to go home every two weeks coz of suspensions of all kinds of nature... Talking about High Schools and suspensions...[memoirs memoirs memoirs]

... reminds me of one time in high school, on a Saturday, after cleaning the school, so we were all idling. Soon I was tempted to get some lugwarts from the many fruit trees in the school, which of course we were prohibited. Si as usual, am on the nearest tree, chuniaring people the fruits.. so we gawana in the end, in the next like 2 minutes.

Ubaya the fruit tree was next to a pavement, na sasa headi tokead.. Si everybody scattered. Then I thought, if I shuka that tree, ningeonwa tu na headi, so I decided to baki on top and be very silent. When she got to the point where I was, another teacher had fikad there too, so they stopped to talk...

Then I don't know what intrigued Mrs. Maina[The teacher] to look up, and voila!!, "There was Shee looking down at them!!" Si ofcourse the shock on her face made headi look up too.. Hmm.. You don't want to imagine the exchange that was there between me and the headi [with her deep kikuyu-kisii accent]

After me getting down in a flash and a couple [read many] slaps and pinches on my cheeks, I was told to go home immediately and come back with a sac full of lugwarts. It was not funny at all, coz I didn't jua what to tell Mathe [an Anglican Rev] and fathe [a retired deputy principle].

But as we all were in chuo ***Let no one pretend*** The policy was "Brains encounter brains".

I sure went home, but my expalnation for being home was that I had an ear ache so I was told to go home. We went to the dockie and was given medicine. Then on my way to school, based in Thika, I picked up a mama from Thika Market [Mukiriti], I paid her Kes 200 and told her the whole story. Si we went to chuo.

At the headi's office, she caused mayhem [si you know the way mamas of soko are harsh], kwanza I was told to get out. So they remained there talking [read yelling at each other in Kikuyu, broken Swahili mixed with 2 english words]. Kidogo they both came out, and I was told that she was to go home, and I was to go to class, and see headi the next day morning for my punishment [I was told to wash some trees at the parade ground, which termites had built houses on]. The mama gave me some fake warnings to obey and a hug and headed back.

That became a legend, and a trend in that school....

Anyway, sorry mum for this and more, that I did...
All the barbed wire, the bringing me back to school and having to tetea me to heady, the report forms you never got to see, the dictionary, Bible, kamusi and log book that I sold on the streets of Nairobi after fourth form and lied they had gotten lost, the lies about trips we were to attend and all just to get more pocket money out of you, the school fee for me to be in class for 1005 of my time in school, but I spent 75% out of class, either on punishments, at home, or skived, and to crown it all, the shame you went through all along the four years.
Am grown now, and I no longer do those.

All I promise is I will make up for all those... And with that promise, I wish you a happy birthday mom.

And as I celebrate this, I also wish to acknowledge the good playing of the heroes of this premier league Arsenal. We pray that you go on and have another season unbeaten, just like the other one.

And quite proud you do me here, seeing you seated on all others....
Am happy for you Arsenal..

Happy Birthday mom. Live longer than you can. Just for me.

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The worst is when you NEVER learn...

Some people will just never learn...

In most cases, you expect that if you go to a certain club and you have your phone stolen, you either stop going to that club, or change positions for storing your phone, right??!! Aint that logic for any person above the age of 18??

Okey this chic!

She brings friends she just met into her house, and they just get high, and the next morning she's missing stuff... Like this one time she lost Kes 60,000 which she was supposed to deposit the next day, for her school fee, then kidogo, her home theatre walked.. I don't know how... then kidogo, an old laptop she had crawled out... And now, it's her PDA phone...

I mean, does she need a [I-don't-know-what] to shout it to her, or rather get it to her mind, to quit being careless and for once, do what is common sense to everybody... Stop bringing strangers to her house!! Next she will be stolen! Then she'll come crying and whining a whole week to me that all she's got was stolen!! "Oh now what will I do.. And I guessed those guys weren't good at all.. Now see.. I should have listened to my instincts..." I hear this one more time and my brain crawls outta my head!

Is it too much work to just think just a little above your nose?! And for hell's sake she's a whole 26yr old!! Jeez!!

I offered to have her move all her "precious" staff, for me to keep it for her, so she doesn't loose it, but it was a hell of a joke, imagining giving away your telly to your friend to keep it for you... what will you watch?? LOL

Anyway! If anyone knows of or owns a drug that one takes to begin being reasonable... help a soul out here!

I would love to say like one Klara

" There's something more painful than learning from experience, and that's not learning from it...."

A.O.B

Do you think homosexuality and abortion should be legalized? I mean seriously... should it?

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