Said Like It Is!

Today is my mom's birthday. She turns 54. And am really proud of her for being there for us for this long. I wonder what it feels like to be 54, but am sure gonna ask her when we communicate. Am especially surprised that she went through a hell of a me, as a teenager, and much more. The me who in high school had to go home every two weeks coz of suspensions of all kinds of nature... Talking about High Schools and suspensions...[memoirs memoirs memoirs]

... reminds me of one time in high school, on a Saturday, after cleaning the school, so we were all idling. Soon I was tempted to get some lugwarts from the many fruit trees in the school, which of course we were prohibited. Si as usual, am on the nearest tree, chuniaring people the fruits.. so we gawana in the end, in the next like 2 minutes.

Ubaya the fruit tree was next to a pavement, na sasa headi tokead.. Si everybody scattered. Then I thought, if I shuka that tree, ningeonwa tu na headi, so I decided to baki on top and be very silent. When she got to the point where I was, another teacher had fikad there too, so they stopped to talk...

Then I don't know what intrigued Mrs. Maina[The teacher] to look up, and voila!!, "There was Shee looking down at them!!" Si ofcourse the shock on her face made headi look up too.. Hmm.. You don't want to imagine the exchange that was there between me and the headi [with her deep kikuyu-kisii accent]

After me getting down in a flash and a couple [read many] slaps and pinches on my cheeks, I was told to go home immediately and come back with a sac full of lugwarts. It was not funny at all, coz I didn't jua what to tell Mathe [an Anglican Rev] and fathe [a retired deputy principle].

But as we all were in chuo ***Let no one pretend*** The policy was "Brains encounter brains".

I sure went home, but my expalnation for being home was that I had an ear ache so I was told to go home. We went to the dockie and was given medicine. Then on my way to school, based in Thika, I picked up a mama from Thika Market [Mukiriti], I paid her Kes 200 and told her the whole story. Si we went to chuo.

At the headi's office, she caused mayhem [si you know the way mamas of soko are harsh], kwanza I was told to get out. So they remained there talking [read yelling at each other in Kikuyu, broken Swahili mixed with 2 english words]. Kidogo they both came out, and I was told that she was to go home, and I was to go to class, and see headi the next day morning for my punishment [I was told to wash some trees at the parade ground, which termites had built houses on]. The mama gave me some fake warnings to obey and a hug and headed back.

That became a legend, and a trend in that school....

Anyway, sorry mum for this and more, that I did...
All the barbed wire, the bringing me back to school and having to tetea me to heady, the report forms you never got to see, the dictionary, Bible, kamusi and log book that I sold on the streets of Nairobi after fourth form and lied they had gotten lost, the lies about trips we were to attend and all just to get more pocket money out of you, the school fee for me to be in class for 1005 of my time in school, but I spent 75% out of class, either on punishments, at home, or skived, and to crown it all, the shame you went through all along the four years.
Am grown now, and I no longer do those.

All I promise is I will make up for all those... And with that promise, I wish you a happy birthday mom.

And as I celebrate this, I also wish to acknowledge the good playing of the heroes of this premier league Arsenal. We pray that you go on and have another season unbeaten, just like the other one.

And quite proud you do me here, seeing you seated on all others....
Am happy for you Arsenal..

Happy Birthday mom. Live longer than you can. Just for me.