Said Like It Is!

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 

Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins.

Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.

Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a Gun and a lawyer.

Having watched the famous Citizen TV program - The wedding show, I almost expected something similar of a wedding I attended in Njukini, close to Taveta, recently.

The Great wedding was done in the Salvation army church, and I was amazed to find that there, the church service begins at 2.00pm. When it does, it is a spectacle of events. The bride arrives first to wait for the Groom. She is escorted by the brides maids and the grooms men, who dance their way to the alter. When she is settled and waiting for the groom, the same bridesmaids and groomsmen go out again to receive the groom, and escort him to his waiting bride to be in pomp and celebrations.

Once they are settled, the full church service goes on, even the offertory, and then the wedding is performed. After the wedding, and the rings and all, the bride and groom are led out of the church, at around 4.00pm with more pomp and celebration. All this time, half the congregation is standing on the pews to see the mighty spectacle.

Just outside the church is the photo session. Here the congregation and friends are charged Kshs. 25 to take a photo with the wedded couple. This was a little strange to me, but apparently, thats the trend there. After that, the people are led to the reception area, where before everything else, the cake is cut, and distributed to the important guests in th place.

Then the food is served, according to order of priority. The visitors from the city first, then the children, then the high table and lastly the local people, who are made to scramble for the food. I thought it to be strange. After people have eaten to their fill, the tent owners begin to take down the tents and people are hurdled out of the reception area. And thats it for the wedding....

I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
Have Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stopped Keepin Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Lose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Now Someday That It'll All Turn Out
You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Mmmmm ....

I Might Have To Wait
I'll Never Give Up
I Guess It's Half Time
And The Other Half's Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

Hmmmmm ......

And Somehow I Know That Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

They Say All's Fair
And In Love And War
But I Won't Need To Fight It
We'll Get It By It ??
To Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

Hmmm .....

And Someday I Know It'll All Turn Out
And I'll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I'll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get han I Get

Oh You Know It Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get

I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Have you loved and had the devastating experience of your beloved leaving you? Have you felt the pain? Does any other pain come nearer to it? Yes, the pain of losing someone by death may come near to that. But even that is not comparable. By death, you lose your sweetheart forever and know that she/he is no longer in this world. But if he/she leaves you, you experience the shock that is unsurpassed. You know that your beloved is in this world itself, but you have no strength to find out where? You have no strength to meet and find out the reason for the betrayal. You get so numbed with the shock, that you can take no more pain. So you are left to live with that pain yourself. And that life is nothing but death at every moment.

When I cry for my beloved, the tears that I shed are more precious than heavenly pearls, says the poet in me. Yes, one cries, and one finds no one to share that cry. If you talk to people around you about the break down you are facing, they will probably call you a fool for grieving. After sometime, you stop talking to anyone about your pain. That keeps the pain inside you. That kills you slowly, but surely.


Can one overcome this? Very difficult. The very fact that you fell in love that submerged you tells about your personality. Such personalities that give themselves totally away, find it very difficult to bear the loss of love. Snatch a child away from the mother and measure the pain of the mother, you will find out what I am talking about. Why does the mother grieve so much? Because she carried the child in her womb for nine months, she cared for the child after birth, she kept awake for her child for endless nights and she dreamt for her child at all the times. The child was an extension of her own personality. The loss therefore becomes unbearable.

In the same way, those who love deeply, love their beloved like their own child. They care for the beloved like their own extension. Their love and their beloved become an essential part of their personality. Therefore, when that love walks out, the grief is immense and the loss immeasurable. What is to be done? No one can say about this. It all depends on the personality.If that person can somehow continue working towards a useful goal, while keeping the pain all the time inside the heart, life can be carried on for sometime. But ultimately that pain of separation will engulf the person.

I never really loved you anyway
No I didn't love you anyway
I never really loved you anyway
I'm so glad you're moving away

I never really loved you anyway
No I didn't love you anyway
I never really loved you anyway
I'm so happy you're moving away

The Corrs

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

Has any of you ever fallen in love with somebody you actually never met?

Well I did once.

This guy * Sean, I met him on the Internet.I can't remember if it was through yahoo or blogger or.... Well, we would communicate most of the time through chat, and later, we exchanged phone numbers. And we'd call each other most of the day, and yours truly begun growing very fond of Sean and FAST.

Soon, I was introduced to Sean's cousin, and his sister, and his mother. Mind you, all this was done over the phone, because all this while, Sean was in a different country. So he'd give my phone number to say his cousin, then his cousin would call, and later come to visit.

I trusted Sean. I fell in love with him, and this love grew by day, as I waited patiently for his return to Nairobi.
I lived in a world full of fantasies of me and him, and our children and our house.  He made promises to me. And I loved him more and more, even though he did not keep most of these promises.He even proposed to me on phone.

I waited for Sean for three years.Until one day, I received a call from anonymous saying if I remember very clearly

Hi. I'm just calling you to give you some information about Sean. He has gotten another girl here pregnant, and I thought that I should let you know, since I believe you dont deserve to be treated the way Sean is treating you. Don't bother calling me back because am using a phone booth. Bye.

And she was gone.

I was in denial and so decided to ignore that call, because I trusted my Sean, and there is no way in this world, that the Sean I loved so much, the Sean who promised me the moon and the stars, the Sean who was going to be my baby's father... would do anything like that. So I did not even bother to ask him about this...

But I was so hurt, I decided I wanted a break from this relationship!

Before I even got to tell him I needed a break, I got a call from one of the people Sean lives with, telling me that Sean was having a baby, by another woman. And that was it! I decided to end the relationship with Sean. It was hard. I cant even recall what I told him, but I had said it was over by the end of the conversation, but did not mention that I knew about his up coming baby.

A few days after break up, he told me that he had made a woman pregnant, and that it was seven months old. The explanation I got was that, the woman went to Sean and told him that she has a chronic condition with her vagina. Her vagina refuses to open up to men that she is not in love with. And since she was in love with Sean, though as he alleges, he does not love her, her vagina opens up when she sees him. So she went to him for help with her vagina issues. Mind you, nowhere had I even heard that Sean was a gynecologist! So Sean the red cross guy went on to have sex with her, even without a condom. What Jeopardy to our "relationship"! tsk tsk tsk....

After telling me all that bullshit explanation, I was supposed to forgive him, as he was trying to help a needy woman. He even claimed that he was going to abandon that woman, so he could come back to me. I repeat. He was gonna abandon the woman who was carrying his child.


I was really hurt, and I stayed many days crying and meditating. Then at once it hit me; I never really knew Sean. I had never even seen him, except maybe for the pictures he sent me. He played with my heart... But I was the bigger fool!

I got up, had a make over and went out clubbing. (Story for another day) And from then, my attachment to him begun to fade, and I begun to see how foolish I was for ever trusting virtual love for over three years! Imagine three years!

His baby was born, and he told it to the whole world. He broadcast on all means. 

Cold is the floor I lay on
Cold is the heart I bear
Cold are the thoughts in my mind
Cold is the soul I am entitled

Drunken by spirits,
Drunken in pain
Drunken in despair
Drunken in plans

The floor by hour is colder,
The bottle by hour is emptier,
The soul by hour is drunkt
The male by hour is hornier

Turgidity, turgidity, turgidity
Overwhelmed by it
Overthrown by it
To a world unknown
To living and to dead
Until one's encounter...

Betroven by life's meaninglessness,
Overwhelmed by vengeance
A mind murders a soul
A heart is mended by fantasies

All through the night
'Till dawn's cold comes unbearably
A drunken heart, soul, mind and body
Get on with a day's work
As though no night was there
As though a floor was no bed
As though a Spirit was no dinner
'Till dusk sets its place
And the monotony of the night
Sets it's pace

Proud to be

A murderer!!
Yes I am,
Proud I am,
She was murdered.

Loudly humming, by me she passes
Irritating and annoying
I caught a glimpse
She was obese,
A stripped coat covered her back
A malicious look on her face

As if forgetting,
Back she turned to me.
What does she want?
She holds a syringe and needle
Huh?
"In exchange for death,
A drop I need"

No way!!
Away she's whisked
Off she goes into thin air
A while later, her hum,
So unforgettable, is nearing
I await her approach,
But in thin air, No more hum
May be change of direction,
May be change of song,

In sudden,
A jab!! On my arm
A slap on the arm,
I glimpse,
Anopheles, her syringe and needle,
Taking off.
Not far off she sits catching breath

Angry I am.
Vengeful I become
Nuclear destroyer in arms
Creeping to her
A single dash of spray,
On the ground she lays,
The mosquito is dead
I am proud!

I must admit I've been a little too caught up in what I call motherly duties..., so much so that I forgot all about other things. Now that am tryna clean out the cobwebs, so to get back, though not to where I was, but to somewhere close, i see what rain and mud I have been through. Now that the storm is almost over, I'm glad to have made it thus far, through this rain....

Mariah Carey spoke it out for me, especially now when my parents wont hear a word about this new found love of my life... reason being, in his community, there are too many cultural beliefs that are still followed up to date. it's frustrating, and annoying and confusing and all, but somehow, somewhen....

When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you’re distraught and in pain without anyone

when you keep crying out to be saved
but nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can’t find your way home
You can get there alone
It’s okay, what you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down don’t you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you’ll find what you need to prevail
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I’ll make it through the rain

And when the rain blows, as shadows grow close don’t be afraid
There’s nothing you can’t face
And should they tell you you’ll never pull through
Don’t hesitate, stand tall and say-ay-yeah-yeah-hey-ey

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

I can make it through the rain
And stand up once again
And I live one more day
And I can make it through the rain
(Oh, yes you can)
Ooh, You’re gonna make it through the … rain

That says it all for me....

A.O.B
When we get the people at the MAU forest out, will it rain and end the drought as we need it. As in, if they are evicted today, will it rain tomorrow, or the day after?....

Why is it a big deal, in some communities, when someone's husband dies?... That now all the wealth becomes for those lazy bastards, who maybe caused his death so they inherit his wealth. Who said the widow is not hurt by her husband's death? Dare some skunk parade themselves that they want a single drop o what they dint work for... Chineke!! We shall see... we shall see....

Last month [read yesterday], i was heavily insulted by one guy at work. Am wondering what to do with him. And its really paining me, because I was silent and dint reply to any of his insults.

Well, the story behind all this is a long one.

When I was desperate and jobless [story for another day], this guy [John] came to me and offered to open up a business for me. And it looked like a really nice idea. So I consulted a friend about it, and she told me to sign an agreement with John stating that all these offers were out of good will.

When I asked John to sign the agreement, he backed out of the whole deal. So I sent him my CV, so to at least send if for me to anyone looking to hire people. He criticized my CV so much, telling me how much of a pity it was. Then he kept sending me emails of job vacancies that were way above my league. People needed to have masters and be over 35yrs and so on... I applied for all these jobs anyway, though i got a response for none, and neither was I expecting any. I was very discouraged.

A week later, he sent me an email on vacancies at his work place. So I applied as usual. And guess what!! They called me for an interview and I got the job. The job puts me at a higher rank than he is. So he said never to let anybody in that company know that I know him. And I respected that. We don't even say hi. All communication between us is through gmail chat.

Yesterday evening, we went past each other on the corridors and as usual we did not even look at each other, but when I passed him, he laughed. When I got back to the office, I decided to chat him up on gmail. I asked why he laughed at me when we passed each other, and am telling you whatever insults I read..... tsk tsk tsk! Am even embarrassed to tell those insults to anyone. I'd not even want anybody to know that I was ever insulted that way.

Now am wondering how to react...

The week is on. Last weekend, i learnt that a guy from my work place who's been on my heel like a shadow, was dating a chic from the same company, but is on leave. He told me he moved their relationship down, by a notch, because the gal is epileptic, and had not told him about it. The worst thing is, she does not know that this guy took their relationship a step backward.

I don't like this guy, even for a minute, but I've tried pushing him off even in public, but calling him a tick is an understatement. Now am even wondering if am farting honey. All the same, this week is based on having nothing to do with this guy. I succeed, and am happy, for i will have accomplished my goals.

I hope for us to have a nice week ahead...

Now, its Friday, and am really happy...

So much has happened during the week, i actually feel like i went through, July and August all together. All the same, am greatful to God for helping me through the week.

And it was a good experience, from drama, to sad, to angry, to missing my daughter, to eyes heavy with sleep for all week and so on and so forth...

Now lemmi brace myself for next week...
[how to deal with all these men and women, who seem to undermine my small size and soft-spokeness.]

More for next week, especially on this guy who's just hovering around me all week, grinning sheepishly....

Well, this is my second week at this new job. And boy oh boy, am so bored, all i do is count the hours. I wake up very early, at 5:00 am, so to be at work at 8:30am. And when i get there, am ot to touch the Pc if there's nothing of the company am doing with it. So i sit and stare all day, at nothing, or at the directory, until lunch time. I go to lunch, and at 2pm, am asked to make a few phone calls and thats it. 5pm, i should be going home. Not to exceed a minute there.

Now am really annoyed about the fact that i sacrifice my sleep, and am overcharged to get to work, just to go there and stare in thin air...

Let me shut down this Pc before this prefect of a guy comes to check what am doing.....

Bye bye internet... Welcome staring at directory!

Ok, today, I saw he most grotesque thing in my house....,

Lemmi just start from the beggining. I got myself a househelp from Kitale. I'l save you the details of getting her here for some day soon. That's not the issue. I have to teach her to switch on the lights, let alone flush the toilet and use toilet paper, after toiletting, Oh, and sit but not stand on the toilet seat.That's no issue. I'm really patient since, non of us was born knowing anything. We were all taught, or saw from somewhere. And right now, we cant say we know everything either. But I believe in asking.

The issue is, This morning, I decided since it is Saturday, and i aint going nowhere, we might as well do general cleaning, to this house which's got dust, you'd plant crops and they grow. As she was dusting, i was busy cleaning the bathroom/toilet. I kept wondering where the poo stench is coming from, even after frantically flushing the toilet severally, and spraying the freshener, and almost a half bottle of harpic had vanished in the toilet bowl.

I got the broom, so to sweep down the water. The smell intensified. Thank God for cleaning gloves, coz looking at the broom handle, I don know how it landed outside my house. The handle was all smeared with poo, and stinking to high heavens. I was sick like 4 times before I lost count.

You're asking what I did with or to her afterwards?... Am not so violent...

I called her to the bathroom, showed her how to clean the toilet again using all those disinfectants, and a toilet brush and told her, that sometimes poo refuses to go even if you flash severally, and thus fetch water from the tap into the bucket and pour int the toilet, and not use the broom handle. Then I told her to get the broom, lying on the corridor outside and take it to the bins, for collection by the gabbage collectors. She was very receptive, and did just that. {whoa!! Lord have mercy}

My gloves are well soaked in dettol, and soap, an am hoping to use them as soon as the smell of poo leaves my nose, and I don get sick when I see the damned gloves...

Am praying for a less grotesque weekend. But how worse could it get anyway?.. {uuh... Lord have mercy....}

It's been a while... yeah like a year past. I think even some keys have switched position, so please dont mind misspelled words. But yes, am back.

Was away doing a lot. Adventuring and venturing and more. But am really happy to be back. More will come as I come online more often. I'l tell you what I saw, read and heard when I was away.

All the same I aint changed, am still sayin it like it is folks...

So now since it's election time, the citizens have grown 10 degrees dumber. All they think about now or rather do, is help those thugs rig votes, even when the process involves murdering their neighbours. It's really sickening. Anyway, I won't vote, but I wish someone would vote out this other idiot who thinks that allowing thugs and hawkers back to the streets of Nairobi, is what will make a guy get his Presidency back.

And the noise on violence and riggin is starting to get to my nerves now. I think we're too developed for some of these barbaric behaviour, Same as getting a chic pregnant and denying it. It is the most barbaric of all acts and cursed be the man who does that.

Talkin of babies, a close buddy is about to get a baby, and she needs a name, otherwise it will be Batholomew or Thaddaeus, and the chic maybe Petronilla or Truphena... I hope you get the point. She's quite depressed on the matter, considering that she has no father to name her baby for her, yknow Kenyan traditions....

On that note; since we have so many baby parties, am beginning to loose track. And soo many contenders. I guess I still stand with Raila for president. But am confused, id it ODM ama is it ODM Kenya. Na Orie Rogo Manduli is for what party? I lost track.. I wonder What Kamotho has up his sleeves...

Anyway, I guess next year haihami, so we'll get to see what goes down.

A.O.B
Now am really debating on shukaing the BT to the new one, aliased.... was it CT ama? Yeah! That one. Not to say am already out of the BT, and on my way into the CT but I guess after being in the BT too long, it's kind of too new a feeling and am scared the CT might as well decide to move on without me. But you know the BT is always there...

Am onto the steps... sooner or later I will either settle in CT ama just get back to the BT. We all know we can never be inbetween for too long, just when crossing over eigh! Then I will tell y'all about it...

Raila, Kalonzo, Kibaki, who else?? I don't know and for some reason, I really dont care. It's irritating when you go to buy a Brand new TV only to find it had been used before, only repackaged... Like wearing a second hand thong.. Please.. someone get me a brand new president around here....

On that note, I need brand new clothes.. LOL. Non of them seem to be fitting me anymore. Due to the diet I have succumbed to , thanks to the hole of a country I live in, I have added a few Kgs.. Now change of wardrobes... All those clothes I have been wear4ing since 2001, I guess are now much of a nusance on the clutchy side.

But who says am complaining.. Nooo... I am soo happy at least I dont have to look all over the country for a cloth that can fit me. Most often turned out to be oversized. That explains the 2001 attire still in my wardrobe. But now I can go with the fashion. It's kinda refreshing yknow.

Before was, will I ever have booty like that? Not in a month of Sundays and being subjected to pork breakfast lunch n supper. Ama wow look at that cleavage! Am jealous. But now it's Oh! The POT!! That may be stress at one point. But who cares. With it comes bundle(s) of joy. The weight, the happiness, the appetite.. I am just too happy. No more feeling bad when I look at my friends' mawetetes and wish I had some to call mine. No more looking at my sisters in shopping malls and wishing I had booty like that, or the cleavage.

I am going shopping for a whole new wardrobe, on the next week of Sundays. Who told you I got the cash right now... But am really looking forward to it. I have never been the one to enjoy shopping, [you cant, when nothing fits you, can you really??]

So lemmie start saving up. And I start with here, saving the cyber dough. I gotta go. Take care o' yourselves. And get me a new prezzo.

Na wenye mnauliza if I been away to grow fat, Yeah I have. Got a problem with that?!