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One day Bill complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor.”

His friend said, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Just put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs ten dollars.”Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample, and deposited the $10. The computer made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 
Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins.
Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a Gun and a lawyer.

Please stick to your own issues, otherwise your tennis elbow will never get better.


Having watched the famous Citizen TV program - The wedding show, I almost expected something similar of a wedding I attended in Njukini, close to Taveta, recently.

The Great wedding was done in the Salvation army church, and I was amazed to find that there, the church service begins at 2.00pm. When it does, it is a spectacle of events. The bride arrives first to wait for the Groom. She is escorted by the brides maids and the grooms men, who dance their way to the alter. When she is settled and waiting for the groom, the same bridesmaids and groomsmen go out again to receive the groom, and escort him to his waiting bride to be in pomp and celebrations.

Once they are settled, the full church service goes on, even the offertory, and then the wedding is performed. After the wedding, and the rings and all, the bride and groom are led out of the church, at around 4.00pm with more pomp and celebration. All this time, half the congregation is standing on the pews to see the mighty spectacle.

Just outside the church is the photo session. Here the congregation and friends are charged Kshs. 25 to take a photo with the wedded couple. This was a little strange to me, but apparently, thats the trend there. After that, the people are led to the reception area, where before everything else, the cake is cut, and distributed to the important guests in th place.

Then the food is served, according to order of priority. The visitors from the city first, then the children, then the high table and lastly the local people, who are made to scramble for the food. I thought it to be strange. After people have eaten to their fill, the tent owners begin to take down the tents and people are hurdled out of the reception area. And thats it for the wedding....




I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
Have Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stopped Keepin Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Lose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Now Someday That It'll All Turn Out
You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Mmmmm ....

I Might Have To Wait
I'll Never Give Up
I Guess It's Half Time
And The Other Half's Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

Hmmmmm ......

And Somehow I Know That Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

They Say All's Fair
And In Love And War
But I Won't Need To Fight It
We'll Get It By It ??
To Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

Hmmm .....

And Someday I Know It'll All Turn Out
And I'll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I'll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get han I Get

Oh You Know It Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get

I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet